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So everyone will be talking about the Oscar Fashions for about the next 24 hours. At the risk of disagreeing with the Bozos who will be reviewing it on E! tonight, we will get our opinions out with as little fuss as possible. More people looked good than bad, and there were some exceptional choices by Anne Hathaway in Armani, Halle Berry in Marchesa, Taraji P. Henson in Roberto Cavalli and even our lady of the waxy forehead, Nicole Kidman in L'Wren Scott. We liked Kate Winslet in Yves Saint Laurent, but we suspect many people didn't. The gaffes weren't horrific (Sally Kirkland, we miss you!) but considering the professionals involved, the results should have been better.
• The
Most Improved From The Screen Actors Guild Awards Award goes to the
Jolie-Pitts, Brad & Angelina, who managed to pull themselves together. Brad's still got the unflattering mustache, and he has added a goatee which is equally distasteful. However, he found an appropriate tie, and his trousers appear to have been hemmed at the right length. Angelina, for her part, has rediscovered her shapely figure in Elie Saab, to everyone's relief, and finished off the look with some spectacularly huge emeralds for which she cannot be faulted.
• The
Second Most Improved From The Screen Actors Guild Awards Award goes to
Meryl Streep, who actually got a dress this time, a very flattering Alberta Ferretti, prepared for the possibility that she might actually win.
• The
Third Most Improved From The Screen Actors Guild Awards Award goes to
Robert Downey Jr. who shaved and found some proper shoes.
• The
I've Been Failed By Prada Award goes to the ordinarily gorgeous
Jessica Biel whose otherwise simple white strapless dress appeared (in the words of a dear friend) to be throwing up fabric in the front.
• The
I've Been Failed By Carolina Herrera Award goes to
Amy Adams whose skirt was strangely pinned between her boobs in an otherwise attractive dress.

• The
FedExed From The Runway Show Award goes to
Leslie Mann and her sparkly Pamella Roland.
• The
Who Needs A Stylist Award goes to shoo-in winner
Penélope Cruz in vintage (real, decades old vintage)
Pierre Balmain, which she claims to have discovered years ago.
• The
Most People Won't Get It Award goes to repeat winner
Tilda Swinton, true to her own sophisticated style in
Lanvin.
• The
Quietly Adventurous Award goes to
Natalie Portman who may be the first person to wear
Rodarte to the Oscars. For their part, The Mulleavy sisters, Rodarte's designers, proved they could adapt their artsy style in a more commercial way.
• The
Dyed To Match Award goes to
Melissa Leo. At a fragrance launch last week, Mark Badgley and James Mischka told us they were making a dress for an unnamed Best Actress nominee. They didn't tell us it was going to match her hair. Overall, not their best work.

• The
Why Must We Be Subjected To You At Every Turn? Award goes to
Miley Cyrus in a
copy of a copy of a copy of a famous, classic Dior ballgown from
Zuhair Murad that was far too ornate for a teenager ...or maybe we are just sick of her... or both. At any rate, it pales in comparison to the original (right).
• The
One False Move And It's The Boobs Show Award goes to
Sarah Jessica Parker for her genuine
Dior Haute Couture gown, and, hopefully, some double stick tape.
• The
High Drama Award goes to
Marisa Tomei who pulled off a spectacular Versace gown with what appeared to be the largest train of the evening.
• The Well-Advised Costume Change Award goes to Queen Latifah who ditched her ungainly Georges Chakra Red Carpet gown for something much more flattering when it came time to sing.
