The Bowery Whole Foods Free Sample Report

So we found ourselves at the Bowery Whole Foods again yesterday because we needed, like, tomatoes or something, and we can report that we had no fewer than eleven different things to sample, which is to be expected at a fancy, newly opened market. Here's what we were offered:

Black bean dip

Golden tofu

Cocoa rice krispy treats

Four flavors of sherbet

Cheddar cheese

Navel oranges

Three different types of pesto

Three different kinds of olive oil

Black Forest bacon

Butterscotch walnuts

What can we say? We went in feeling peckish and came out stuffed, and they weren't even giving out french fries. We thought this would be a good time to remind our gentle, and undoubtedly well-mannered readers about free sample protocol.

Take only one sample, like the little sign always says. You can always come back again and pretend you are a different person who hasn't had one yet.
Don't wait at the table waiting for them to put out more. You will look like a hog.
Try to avoid waiting in a crowd to get your sample. Again, hoglike appearance, and you are likely  to be clogging the aisle.
Take your sample and step aside. Don't sit and chat at with the sample-giver, blocking the table. There are probably people waiting behind you. they are probably us, and we are probably getting pissed.