JON CARAMANICA GOES SHOPPING: Celebrity Souvenir Shop Edition

Once again, this week's Thursday Styles sends menswear guy Jon Caramanica to a store he has no logical business reviewing, though we have no trouble imagining his more gender appropriate counterpart Cintra Wilson refusing to have anything to do with Dash, the boutique which is generally assumed to have been created expressly as a vehicle for the Kardashian sisters' reality TV empire.

Of course, since it's basically a fake store anyway, what difference does it really make who reviews it? Caramanica reassembles the team of assistants who helped him tackle Forever 21 working under the pretense that they would take a serious look at the store. That pretense swiftly crumbles, as our Shopper & Co. quickly go to town on the San Fernando Valley import. After all, what's the point of going to a fake store supposedly run by C-list celebrities if not to make merciless fun?

There is, however, the matter of taste. Dash is a fashion desert, just oodles of drapey cowl necks and embellished cap sleeves and synthetic fibers. Clothes are essentially split into two categories of fit: vacuum-sealed and hot-air balloon. Fleur tried on an animal print dress with a shirred effect ($308), pairing it with a Eugenia Kim ushanka without flaps, made of coyote ($430). You could wear this look, in the same way you could hire an enthusiastic 5-year-old as your stylist.

Well, there's more, but that pretty much sums it up. Caramanica introduces the game of "Which Kardashian Sister Are You?" with the obvious winning answer being: "None of them". If your response is anything else, seek immediate help.

Critical Shopper | Dash: Any Kardashians in Your Closet? By Jon Caramanica (NYTimes)
Dash 119 Spring Street near Greene Street